Snake takes on EVERYONE!
by Bocuma
Summary: Featuring special guest stars, surrealism and so much more, Snake takes on every single person who ever annoyed him...goin' to be bloody...


Inspired by 'Everyday is like Sunday' by Morrisey and various other songs. Which I do not own, nor do I own Metal Gear Solid, or anything else in this story, thanks. .................................................................................................................................................................................... Snake takes on the world...or part of it...- THE STORY SO FAR... (now with added surrealism...well, added surrealism coming later in the story...)  
  
Snake sat on the bench and sighed, staring out across the endless mass of skyscrapers and murky sea. He wished he had a stinger launcher just so he could blow the statue of liberty to bits, as it was such a falsehood, a representation of the lying government officials, lying armed forces officials and countless others who upheld the opposite of the supposed ideals of the US. A particularly annoying seagull made his hand move toward his gun holster, but he stopped short.  
  
"Dammit, even the wildlife is irritating as hell. Screw Raiden, he can get on fine without my guidance. I'm outta here." And with no more than a sigh, Snake was running at full pelt towards the airports. Suddenly, a thought struck him that made him stop.  
"I'm going to have to hitchhike to Canada or something, there's no way in hell someone like me is going to be able to board a plane...stupid Federal Borough of Investigation, by all rights I should be watching you..." Even with a resolution as strong as Snakes, this was going to be a tough journey. Nobody was going to stop him, the first gang he was ambuished by scattered at the sight of his brandished socom. But as he approached the city limits, he stopped and pondered.  
"Maybe I could commandeer someone's vehicle...yeah, that's a good idea, GTA style. I'm virtually a criminal anyway...even though I've done nothing but good for this ungrateful country..." Still, Snake didn't want to scare any normal people. So, he hailed a cab and stuck his gun through the separation.  
"Ah, Jesus, not again! Come on buddy, th-this is the second time this has happened in a month! What is it with you street scum?" Snake pressed his socom against the cabby's temple and threatened him in his gruffest voice.  
"I'm no street-scum, I'm a trained and highly experienced killer, so drive or I really will blow your brains out. Okay?" The fat cabby started to sweat even more profusely as he put his flabby foot down. Snake muttered directions in his ear continuously, until the cabby took the biggest risk he would ever take, pulling over in a deserted street.  
"Look buddy, I don't mind driving, but the thing is, where the heck are you heading and why? I mean, what, you crossing the border? You some sort of crook who's on the run from the military? Come on, gimme a hint, don't I deserve it after driving all this way?" Snake growled at the cabby again.  
"Look. I'm no crook, friend. But I will shoot you and commandeer this cab-""Yeah but you said that before. You haven't shot me yet, so you can't be all bad...what, are you on some mission?" "...right...this doesn't leave your mouth, ever. I'm on my way to Canada to somehow gather allies and mount an offensive on the crooked US government. I wasn't before, but you made me so mad...I'm an undercover espionage agent, at least I was before. I couldn't trust anyone I was working for, or with, so I 'm flying solo now. That's all I can tell you. Just drop me off a mile after the border crossing."  
"Man, am I ever in trouble if they catch us..."  
"I've got a stealth suit, they won't see me." The cabby shook his head slowly, before carrying on.  
Maybe it was because he was resigned to the bizarre-ness of the whole situation, maybe he plain didn't see it, but neither the cabby or Snake spotted the titanic metallic beast trailing them. Why the monumental mechanical monster hadn't pounced was a mystery, which greatly aggravated it's master, who sat in a penthouse in Snakes 'beloved' New York. Why it was shaped like a giant tabby...well we'll leave that down to the master being who the master is. Makes more sense that way... TO BE CONTINUED... 


End file.
